


I’m Listening

by Kellygirl



Category: DCU, Frasier - Fandom, Hannbal - Fandom
Genre: Crack, Discussion of Cannibalism, Gen, I Don't Even Know, Kinda, M/M, Multiple Crossovers, but no details, its a comedy, lets just blame this on 2020
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-29
Updated: 2020-12-29
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:00:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28399620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kellygirl/pseuds/Kellygirl
Summary: An ordinary night at work turns surreal for Dr. Crane.
Relationships: Will Graham & Hannibal Lecter
Comments: 1
Kudos: 8





	I’m Listening

**Author's Note:**

> For my lovely evil twin who never says ‘wtf?’ When these plot bunnies show up but instead says ‘tell me more’ and ‘here’s some ideas’.

“Next caller is Ms Quinn and she has concerns about a friend of hers. Hello caller, this is Dr Frasier Crane. I’m listening.”

“Hiya Dr. Crane! I gotta a lot of issues but this call is not about me. I have a friend and he’s all twisted up about something.”

Frasier glanced at Roz who was busy flirting with the office supply stock guy.

“What is he twisted up about?”

“Well, he’s a cannibal see and he started liking this coworker and now he’s all confused. Does he eat him or invite him on a date? Should he make him dinner or make him dinner, see what I’m saying? He’s stressing about it and I told him, ‘Listen Hanni, you gotta give this guy a chance, Okay? Don’t eat him or kill him and make an artistic display of him, that’s not cool. This could be the one.’”

Frasier was glad to see Roz look at him through the window as he dragged a hand over his mouth.

“Did you say your friend is a Cannibal?”

The woman laughed and chills ran up Frasier’s back. “Yeah yeah, but that ain’t what needs discussin’ right now. I need some support. I used to be a doctor too, Dr. Harleen Quinzel. My license got revoked and everything but you know us doctors. We make the worst patients! Anyway Hanni’s a psychiatrist too and he’s overthinking this. Soooo I thought, ‘you know Harley, Hannibal is like that radio guy. They’re both prissy and rich and talk about wine all the time. I bet Fras could help him out.’”

Frasier mouthed to Roz, ‘is this a joke?’

Roz made hand motions and mouthed back, ‘no clue but if not do you want to piss her off?’

Frasier cleared his throat. There were people in the hallway staring into the booth like he was a train wreck.

“Well, first of all, I’d tell your friend that just because he’s confused doesn’t mean he has to eat his potential love. Remind him that something like that cant be taken back. Encourage him to hmmm, explore a relationship with this special someone only if he can be honest with them and if he can resist the urge to eat him when they have an argument because all couples argue, but that doesn’t mean they should be turned into the main course.”

Harley made agreeing noises. “Exactly! Yes yes, I’m taking notes for him. He’s such a prima donna but he can just enjoy this guy’s company and see where it takes them.”

Frasier couldn’t resist. “You say your friend is a cannibal but just because his name rhymes with-“

Harley interrupted with a shrill laugh. “I know! But don’t worry about that part. I know cannibals. Arkham had its fair share. Wasn’t even exciting anymore. I’ll get him straightened out on that but since I broke up with Mr. J, I was kinda out of wits on what advice to give him as it pertains to his love life.”

Frasier felt like he was in a dream. “Well, yes. Do try and help him with that particular regard. Since you seem to have more experience in that area.”

“Definitely. Hey Doc, you gotta a few more minutes? I got this other friend. Dresses up like a Bat.”

Frasier ignored Roz’s laughing and wished he’d called in sick.

End


End file.
